Relationships, Rituals, and Rites of Passage
Hello church,
This weekend we are celebrating something special.
In our current culture, rites of passage have been almost completely done away with. While many other cultures throughout history and today have and still do practice these moments of initiation, in the modern west we rarely do. The consequences of this have been dire, reflected in the aimlessness so many (thought not all) have at a young age and carry with them into adulthood. When does one become an adult? What are the markers that prove this to themselves and to the community? What skills and tools have they been given to navigate the world as an adult?
While we can’t immediately replicate or transfer the weight of centuries of tradition, we can take significant moments, mark them as a church community, and convey meaning through symbolic acts and rites.
One of our youths, Rowan Low, has been working towards a rite designed for him, which will be shared on Sunday. This step is available for all of our youths to take when they are ready to do so. This marks an important leap in Rowan’s journey of faith; he was baptized last summer, was given and completed an assignment, and is now taking his place as a young man in the church - not a child attached to a family in the church.
As part of the ceremony, I will be inviting men to come up on the stage, lay hands on Rowan, and join me in praying for him. Men of Anthem, we are commissioned to play our part - let us welcome Rowan into the brotherhood of Christian men, and let us all play our part in joining with the Lows as we point him to Jesus and help him grow into maturity.
Please join us after the gathering for a brief reception with cake and snacks, celebrating this moment for Rowan and his family. This is an important moment for our church: it symbolizes the priority of discipleship of all ages and is the culmination of years of hoping, praying, and planning. While we won’t do so perfectly, may God give us grace to raise our youths well, confident of their faith, walking with Jesus for all of life.
This weekend we are celebrating something special.
In our current culture, rites of passage have been almost completely done away with. While many other cultures throughout history and today have and still do practice these moments of initiation, in the modern west we rarely do. The consequences of this have been dire, reflected in the aimlessness so many (thought not all) have at a young age and carry with them into adulthood. When does one become an adult? What are the markers that prove this to themselves and to the community? What skills and tools have they been given to navigate the world as an adult?
While we can’t immediately replicate or transfer the weight of centuries of tradition, we can take significant moments, mark them as a church community, and convey meaning through symbolic acts and rites.
One of our youths, Rowan Low, has been working towards a rite designed for him, which will be shared on Sunday. This step is available for all of our youths to take when they are ready to do so. This marks an important leap in Rowan’s journey of faith; he was baptized last summer, was given and completed an assignment, and is now taking his place as a young man in the church - not a child attached to a family in the church.
As part of the ceremony, I will be inviting men to come up on the stage, lay hands on Rowan, and join me in praying for him. Men of Anthem, we are commissioned to play our part - let us welcome Rowan into the brotherhood of Christian men, and let us all play our part in joining with the Lows as we point him to Jesus and help him grow into maturity.
Please join us after the gathering for a brief reception with cake and snacks, celebrating this moment for Rowan and his family. This is an important moment for our church: it symbolizes the priority of discipleship of all ages and is the culmination of years of hoping, praying, and planning. While we won’t do so perfectly, may God give us grace to raise our youths well, confident of their faith, walking with Jesus for all of life.
Some Background - Relationships in the church
To better understand the importance of this direction, I wanted to share a bit of background beforehand to put the moment into context.
I remember growing up in this church; we had a few families with kids during my younger years, but by the time my brother and I were in late middle school and high school, we were the only teens here at the church. We had no youth group in those later years: I served in the tech booth on Sunday mornings preparing and presenting powerpoint slides for worship, and my brother followed in my footsteps but eventually switched to playing bass on the worship team.
While a youth group may have been advantageous to us, we didn’t really know what we were missing. We just had what we had - and what we had, in abundance, was relationships, formed through life and service in the church. We had older men and women who knew us, loved us, and poured into us. I distinctly remember in my teen years wanting to come to church for one main reason, and that reason was not God: I so looked forward to spending time talking and connecting with the adults who knew me. When I was with them, and they took interest in my life, and I made them laugh, I felt grown up. I felt like a peer. I felt like a man.
This relational connection shaped something profound in me - even though, in my estimation, I was not yet following Jesus, I felt a bone-deep link to the people of our church. As I left for college, this connection anchored me: it served as a track, training wheels of sorts, for how I was to live and make decisions on my own. I was by no means perfect or innocent; I had my share of activity in the rebellious teen years. However, these relationships held me during some very hard times in my life. No matter what happened, I always knew I could come back to the people at church, and they would help me. I may not have the answers, but they might. Once Jesus became real to me, I was able to stand on my own faith more securely, but the church was always foundational.
Since I’ve been the lead pastor of this church, I’ve had a burden for my experience to be repeated in the lives of our young members. At times I’ve wondered if my story is anecdotal, and I think the fact that I’m now a pastor of the church I grew up in may lead others to believe that this was always “meant to be.”
But I don’t think my story is anecdotal. I don’t think it’s supposed to be. The church I grew up in was far from perfect, and my parents, though wonderful people and great parents, are not perfect and had their own struggles figuring out how to raise us in the faith (3 of my four grandparents were not believers; my parents were learning as they went). Those closest to me will tell you - my life now is not what I wanted when I was 18. In fact, I remember telling my parents, “I’ll do anything, but I’ll never become a pastor.” I moved away from home for college on purpose. I had the same drive all 18 year olds do: to make a name for myself and to find my place in the world. And yet the community had instilled something in me, something fundamental that I couldn’t shake.
This is not a post about me, but this leads to the burden I have and that I share with many of the leaders in our church. How do we as the church partner with parents in a real, meaningful way, to support our youths and point them to Jesus in every way we can, trusting that the Lord will light the flame in due time? How do we give our young people this sense of belonging as they learn to follow Jesus and then step into the world?
A few years ago, because we knew we had to have some form of discipleship for our youths, we launched Journey, our youth group. It has been amazing to see these students and leaders blossom in this place - we have seen faith reprioritized in the lives of students, we have even seen a student come to faith in Jesus. I want to honor these leaders who have now taken ownership over this ministry, which has a special and needed place in our church community. As important and gifted as these leaders are, I know they would agree with me on one thing: the discipleship of our youths is too important of a task to be delegated to a small group of people at our church. It’s deeply important work, but in and of itself it is just one portion of this task.
Teaching the truth to our children and teens is foundational and essential - no one would ever debate that. However, studies are showing that what youths experience in church matters just as much in becoming lifelong, resilient disciples of Jesus. It’s not just what we know that forms us, it’s the environments, at home and in the church communities, that form a young person’s mind and heart towards Jesus. Before God, the parents of each child are primarily responsible for raising their son or daughter in the faith, and they will give an account to God for how they did with this blessed assignment. Before God, we as a church are accountable for building, protecting, and curating an environment where these families and youths are supported to do this important work. It’s not just up to the pastor or the youth leaders to do this work: it’s up to the whole church.
Look what Paul writes in the New Testament:
Here’s the big takeaway: while our youth group has its place to serve, connect, and teach our youths, the picture of the New Testament is that of a community that includes these youths, working and growing together. The young serve the older, the older serve the young, as one family.
I’m praying God will give us grace to walk this out with intention and conviction. Disciples of Jesus do not happen by accident, but with God’s help we can do far more than we could possibly think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Will you join me in praying?
See you Sunday,
Andrew
I remember growing up in this church; we had a few families with kids during my younger years, but by the time my brother and I were in late middle school and high school, we were the only teens here at the church. We had no youth group in those later years: I served in the tech booth on Sunday mornings preparing and presenting powerpoint slides for worship, and my brother followed in my footsteps but eventually switched to playing bass on the worship team.
While a youth group may have been advantageous to us, we didn’t really know what we were missing. We just had what we had - and what we had, in abundance, was relationships, formed through life and service in the church. We had older men and women who knew us, loved us, and poured into us. I distinctly remember in my teen years wanting to come to church for one main reason, and that reason was not God: I so looked forward to spending time talking and connecting with the adults who knew me. When I was with them, and they took interest in my life, and I made them laugh, I felt grown up. I felt like a peer. I felt like a man.
This relational connection shaped something profound in me - even though, in my estimation, I was not yet following Jesus, I felt a bone-deep link to the people of our church. As I left for college, this connection anchored me: it served as a track, training wheels of sorts, for how I was to live and make decisions on my own. I was by no means perfect or innocent; I had my share of activity in the rebellious teen years. However, these relationships held me during some very hard times in my life. No matter what happened, I always knew I could come back to the people at church, and they would help me. I may not have the answers, but they might. Once Jesus became real to me, I was able to stand on my own faith more securely, but the church was always foundational.
Since I’ve been the lead pastor of this church, I’ve had a burden for my experience to be repeated in the lives of our young members. At times I’ve wondered if my story is anecdotal, and I think the fact that I’m now a pastor of the church I grew up in may lead others to believe that this was always “meant to be.”
But I don’t think my story is anecdotal. I don’t think it’s supposed to be. The church I grew up in was far from perfect, and my parents, though wonderful people and great parents, are not perfect and had their own struggles figuring out how to raise us in the faith (3 of my four grandparents were not believers; my parents were learning as they went). Those closest to me will tell you - my life now is not what I wanted when I was 18. In fact, I remember telling my parents, “I’ll do anything, but I’ll never become a pastor.” I moved away from home for college on purpose. I had the same drive all 18 year olds do: to make a name for myself and to find my place in the world. And yet the community had instilled something in me, something fundamental that I couldn’t shake.
This is not a post about me, but this leads to the burden I have and that I share with many of the leaders in our church. How do we as the church partner with parents in a real, meaningful way, to support our youths and point them to Jesus in every way we can, trusting that the Lord will light the flame in due time? How do we give our young people this sense of belonging as they learn to follow Jesus and then step into the world?
A few years ago, because we knew we had to have some form of discipleship for our youths, we launched Journey, our youth group. It has been amazing to see these students and leaders blossom in this place - we have seen faith reprioritized in the lives of students, we have even seen a student come to faith in Jesus. I want to honor these leaders who have now taken ownership over this ministry, which has a special and needed place in our church community. As important and gifted as these leaders are, I know they would agree with me on one thing: the discipleship of our youths is too important of a task to be delegated to a small group of people at our church. It’s deeply important work, but in and of itself it is just one portion of this task.
Teaching the truth to our children and teens is foundational and essential - no one would ever debate that. However, studies are showing that what youths experience in church matters just as much in becoming lifelong, resilient disciples of Jesus. It’s not just what we know that forms us, it’s the environments, at home and in the church communities, that form a young person’s mind and heart towards Jesus. Before God, the parents of each child are primarily responsible for raising their son or daughter in the faith, and they will give an account to God for how they did with this blessed assignment. Before God, we as a church are accountable for building, protecting, and curating an environment where these families and youths are supported to do this important work. It’s not just up to the pastor or the youth leaders to do this work: it’s up to the whole church.
Look what Paul writes in the New Testament:
1 Timothy 5:1-2 - Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
Titus 2:2-6 - Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.
Titus 2:2-6 - Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.
Here’s the big takeaway: while our youth group has its place to serve, connect, and teach our youths, the picture of the New Testament is that of a community that includes these youths, working and growing together. The young serve the older, the older serve the young, as one family.
I’m praying God will give us grace to walk this out with intention and conviction. Disciples of Jesus do not happen by accident, but with God’s help we can do far more than we could possibly think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Will you join me in praying?
See you Sunday,
Andrew
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